Recently I decided to grow up. Despite being 28 I have been, up until very recently, a child. That's not to say I haven't been supporting myself, voting, being rad, etc. What I haven't been doing is planning for the future, developing my career, saving money, buying property that kind of thing. That's all changing, and it all started at Bishops.
Bishops is where I get the ol hairs cut. It's close to my house, seems to only employ hot tattooed ladies and they give you a High Life or three while you wait. I enjoy Bishops.
I went in there last month, looked the hotly tattooed, red-mohawked lady in the eyes and said, "give me the employable". I took my glasses off, sipped my swill beer and let her do her thing. And damned if this isn't the best haircut I've ever had.

I've had a lot of haircuts in my time; I've had a buzz cut, hippie hair, an unfortunate bob, an ironic mullet, a non ironic mullet w/ flat top (I was 6) and a Peyton Manning. Combine those with the fact I've had a beard or goatee off and on since 17 and I've pretty much been a walking Wooly Willy for over a decade now. I am Wooly Willy no more, I am Zervas the guy you want to give a job to.
Although I have shrugged off my Wooly Willyness I have kept the magnetic personality that came with it and that is where the dividends are coming from. This haircut plus my awesomeness equals profits, plain and simple. Essentially, I traded $25 for a 2-4 month coupon of gifts and discounted services.

The day after I got my haircut I popped into the local goodwill to pick up a t.v. stand, something nice but not too spending. Something that says, I rock but I'm not going to be all in your face about it. While there I saw a wood serving tray that would be perfect for some taco dip so I grabbed that as well. We're talking a quality serving tray here, easily worth 3 or even 4 dollars. The checkout guy notices that there's no price on the serving tray, looks at my hair, and says, "how about 99 cents?". Sold my good man, sold. Instantly, I knew it was the hair and that $25 hair cut dropped in net cost to $22.
The power of the haircut didn't stop there. A week later I was at my local beer joint, The Concordia Ale House, and the hair paid off again. I ordered up the stoutest beer they had on tap and took a seat. The waitress came back and explained they just ran out mid-pour. She then took one look at the hair, did an about face and returned with the last of the beer that they just ran out of, 3/4 of a pint *on the house*. Bam, another 3 Sacajaweas in my pocket. Actual price of haircut now down to $19.
While drinking my free 12 ounces of dark brew I bumped into a friend of my girlfriend. His friend noticed my hair and, obviously impressed with my overall appearance, asked what I do for a living. The answer to that is somewhat complicated but the relevant information is that I just graduated and am looking to get into financial planning. Interestingly enough, that's exactly what he does and thinks I'd be perfect. Bam! It's two days later and his boss calls me to set up an interview. I'm bringing the hair by his office on friday to see where they can fit me in.

These kinds of things have been happening all month; from "forgetting" to charge me for the side of guacamole to pouring my scotches extra large people are respecting the hair. As of this morning I figure the haircut only cost me around $3.50. Not bad. With some life left in my current 'do I expect to profit a solid $20 when all is said and done. I just have to remember not to wear a hat.