It's the age old question, who would you rather have babysit your children; Michael Jackson or Britney Spears? Unlike the Chicken v. Egg debate (Egg clearly wins) this question presents me with a bit of a problem, for the first time in my life I'm not immediately sure of an answer. I will present the facts, as I see them, and let you decide.

Will they drop your kid?

Brit: Not only does she not know how to hold a kid, she doesn't notice/care that he's falling.
MJ: He made one mistake in this regard, he probably won't repeat it.

Do they like kids?

Brit: According to Britney's version of Lisa Marie Presley Britney said that "It doesn't matter if she doesn't get them back full time, and that she can always have other kids later on". I don't know about you, but a humiliated, jilted ex-lover's word is all I need

MJ: According to Michael Jackson, a slightly less reputable source than that dude who married Britney that one time, "Everyone who knows me will know the truth which is that my children come first in my life and that I would never harm any child."

Do they like kids too much?

Brit: Britney has never been accused of molesting children. She has shown her goods to anyone and everyone, but not specifically to children. Like the rest of us they just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

MJ: Michael Jackson has been accused of molestation twice. To be fair, he spends a lot more time around children than Britney does. So his percentage of time spent with kids/ accused molestation is like 100,000:2 whereas Britney's is 2:0, statistically speaking I think that's about even or even leaning slightly in favor of Michael.

Are they bat shit crazy?

Brit: Yes
MJ: Yes

Do they do drugs?

Brit: Yes
MJ: Yes

Will they drug your children?

Brit: Probably, but either accidentally or to shut them up.
MJ: Probably not, but if so it will be purposefully.

Personally, I'm leaning towards Michael. It comes down to this; a <1% chance that your kids will be molested (allegedly) versus a 99% chance they'll get dropped, drugged, neglected or flashed. Then again, I'm a gambling man. What do you think?

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