The Strategic Retreat

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5 Signs That Autistics Are Vampires

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Vampire Sheldon

Many ancient myths are based in fact. Manatees were mistaken for mermaids, the city of Troy turned out to be more truth than legend and zombies were actually just drugged Haitians. Like the aforementioned bath-salted Hispaniolas, vampires do exist; they’ve just been exaggerated in popular literature and movies. Vampires are, in fact, high functioning autistics.

As Joss Whedon said, “Every vampire fiction reinvents vampires to its own needs. You take what you want.” And this is how we disassociated vampires from their Aspergers origin, by adding slight exaggerations for the purpose of story-telling.

What, Read the rest

It Doesn’t Matter That The NFL Is Nonprofit

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Twice yesterday I was faced with articles decrying the NFL for being a nonprofit. Once was on Facebook and once on reddit. I try not to get too involved in either of those places. People take things personal when you call out their political stances on Facebook and, in general, I try not to get too involved in the schoolyard squabbles of reddit. Having heated online debates with anonymous kids just isn’t how I wish to live my life.

I often fail in my cosplay of Switzerland though, because deep down I’m a know-it-all. And, faulty facts and logic… Read the rest

Tom Brady is a Robot

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I’m just going to put my cards on the table here. No need to pussyfoot around or obfuscate the situation. Whilst I’m always a bit fearful of libel, truth is an absolute defense. The truth is; Tom Brady is a robot.

As we get ready for Tom Brady to face off versus whoever it is that coaches the Broncos, this is the most important thing to keep in mind. Whoever it is that coaches the Broncos isn’t battling against only the best coach of all time but also the finest machine the Air Force has ever manufactured. It almost… Read the rest

2014 AFC Championship Game: The Bradybot versus Marine Manning

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This Sunday at high noon Tom Brady will face Peyton Manning for the 15th time. Two of the best quarterbacks of all time will go head to head to determine who goes on to the Super Bowl. One will continue to face the new guard from the west and the other will go home to cry on a pile of money. Nearing the twilight of their careers one of these gridiron warriors will get a chance to win it all.

At least, that’s the story they want you to believe. That’s the narrative that sells sugar water and sub… Read the rest