The Strategic Retreat

Stuff I hate

10 Reasons Why You’ll Hate Me

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Molly and Bela

As this website continues to develop you will eventually come to hate me. I’ve accepted this. Most people who don’t know me do indeed hate me. In real life I’m smart, charming, polite and generous but in real life people rarely address religion, politics or basically anything of consequence. This bothers me so I’ve strategically retreated to my own little world where such things can be discussed. And by “discussed” I mean, discussed by me with no feedback from you.

You may never learn to hate me but if you’re anything like most people you probably will. First off… Read the rest

Why I Hate You, My Cat

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my cat

I hate my cat. A cynic would observe that I hate all cats and that’s fair. From toxoplasma gondii to their scratchy little claws, cats piss me right off. But I’m not here today to talk about cats in general, I’m here to talk about my cat; Tangeray. And that’s a perfect place to start, cat. I hate your name. What kind of white-trash drunken child names their cat after a brand of gin? Even worse, who misspells said brand of gin in the naming? I guess you and Oprah could hang out but misspelled names don’t cut… Read the rest

10 Celebrities Who Should Have Died Young

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Some people overstay their welcome. Like the house guest thats great for the first few days but eventually drinks all the beer and won’t get off your couch, some celebrities just stick around too long. Whether they become drunks, failures, criminals, perverts or worst of all; George Lucases (Luci?), later actions ruin their legacy. Below are the top 10 celebrities who could have been remembered fondly, if only they left in the year suggested.

10. Orson Welles: 1942

sd-orson.jpg

What he was: The 20-something writer, director, producer and star of “Citizen Kane”.

What he became: An Read the rest

Why I Hate You, Valentine Hearts

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Lot’s of people hate Valentine’s Day. Unlike the others I’m not one of those people who hates V-Day because I’m ugly and alone. I’m fly and coupled and most likely I’ll be getting some tomorrow from my hot girlfriend. But just because I enjoy the day doesn’t mean its not bullshit. There are many many reasons why Valentine’s is bullshit but since I have stuff to do I’ll list one: Valentine’s hearts. Valentine’s hearts piss me right off. Why?… Read the rest